THE LAUNDRAMAT

Every week I go to the laundramat. I don't have to go. The place where I live has a $1000 washing machine and an expensive dryer as well. This being so, why do I go to a laundramat? Why spend at least $5.00/wash-n-dry when the whole thing could be done free? [I still resonate to the old adage: "A penny saved is a penny earned."]

Well, for one thing, the $1000 washing machine starts to act "stressed," whenever I put more than five items of clothing inside it and turn it "on." Further, the dryer goes "belly up"--like an opossum feigning death--whenever it senses that the washing machine has left too much water in the clothing. What a hassle!

Furthermore, this whole process of cleaning and drying a week's worth of dirty laundry on these expensive machines is at least five hours. Who in his/her right mind wants to allocate five hours of good old Saturday to laundry? One would have to be a complete "homebody."

I can go to my favorite laundramat, toss the whole load into one machine, and thirty minutes later, it is finished. I cart it over to the dryers, toss the clothes into two of them, and within thirty minutes they are finished. [I never completely, thoroughly dry my clothes, as the process causes injury to the textiles, hastening the day when worn spots, holes, and thread-faulting occurs.]

There are ancillary benefits to using laundramats. In modern America the laundramat is the heart-n-soul of cultural diversity. Therefore, one is often afforded an opportunity to "brush up" on one's English, Chinese, Indian, Spanish, Vietnamese, Korean, Russian, Arabic, Swahili, Rastaman, and an array of others.

The laundramat I favor is presently owned by a Korean couple. The previous owners were a Southern couple, who were Scott-Jewish, as I recall. The present owner has a large television. He typically keeps it on the Cartoon Network. I suspect that this was his attempt to create harmony, as the frequent use of a Spanish-speaking network must have engendered complaints from the numerous people who speak some English but no Spanish. How this sits with the large population of Latinos, who also frequent the laundramat, I can't say. As is often the case in such situations, the blandest or least challenging television network fares best. Also, children are somewhat distracted from their usual, "high-speed" play by the Cartoons--always a plus.

One can easily appreciate how laundramats not only do a good job washing-n-drying clothes, but they also offer unexpected diversions almost every time.